The Adventures of Orihime
by Unknown Brother
Summary: Orihime's crazy adventures! Episode 1: Orihime has an eventful day. Messing with everybody's heads is one of her favorite things to do!
1. In Which Orihime,Chad,Chizuru are Horny

**BLEACH**

**~THE ADVENTURES OF ORIHIME~**

Episode 1: _"In Which Orihime, Chad, Ishida, Ichigo, and Chizuru Are Horny"_

* * *

_It's a sweltering-hot morning in Karakura Town. Ichigo and Orihime (equipped with delicious ice cream) are on their way to school._

Ichigo: 'Sup Inoue!

Orihime: SHUT UP, BACK-FRECKLE!

Ichigo: O_o QUEEE?

Orihime: *munch munch*

Ichigo: Is that ice cream? Me want!

Orihime: *glares* MINE!

Ichigo: . (sozzy...)

Orihime: TALK LIKE A MAN YOU COWARD!

Ichigo: (don't hurt me)

Orihime: *MOOO*

Ichigo: Are you on your period?

Orihime: Yush.

Ichigo: That's hawt.

Orihime: I love you.

Ichigo: What?

Orihime: Nothing.

Ichigo: We should go to school...

Orihime: TAY

_On the way to school...a car hits Orihime._

Ichigo: Inoue! Are you okay?

Orihime: FUCKINSHIT THAT HURTS

Ichigo: *notices a big mark on Orihime's leg* XD WHATTHAT?

Orihime: *pained*

Ichigo: IS THAT A HANDPRINT OF A HOLLOW THAT MIGHT BE YOUR BROTHER?

Orihime: Maybe...are you saying my brother has an incestuous love for me?

Ichigo: Yush.

Orihime: *MOOO*

Ichigo: You gotta stop doing that.

Orihime: My leg hurts.

Ichigo: K, lets go to school.

Orihime: K.

_At school..._

Keigo: EEEEEEE-CHEEEEEE-GO!

Ichigo: Stop trying to make out with me, man, I'm too cool for you.

Keigo: ='(((

Mizuiro: There, there Keigo, he's right, he IS too cool for you.

Keigo: *cuts self*

Chizuru: 'HIME!

Orhime: BACK THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU LESBIAN AMAZON

Chizuru: *cuts self*

Ichigo: Orihime's on her period...

Chad: ^^ I am horny.

Orhime: Why

Chad: Seeing a woman...so fertile...it makes me...warm.

Ichigo: O_o

Orihime: Wanna make a baby?

Chad: Yush.

Orihime: HAHAHAAH PSYCHE

Orhime: AS IF I'D MAKE A MEXICAN BABY

Ichigo: Can I help make a baby?

Orihime: SURE

Ichigo: *drool*

Orihime: HAHAHA PSYCHE

Oirhime: AS IF I'D MAKE A HOLLOW BABY

Chizuru: I WANNA MAKE A BABY WITH YOU

Orihime: SANTEN KESSHUN I REJECT!

Chizuru: *dies*

Ishida: I'll impregnate you, Inoue.

Orihime: TAY.

_Later that night..._

Orihime: *MOOO*

_THE END_


	2. In Which Orihime Has a Secret Admirer

**BLEACH**

**~THE ADVENTURES OF ORIHIME~**

_"Episode 2: In Which Orihime Has a Secret Admirer"_

* * *

_In the solitude of her home, with the windows drawn, Orihime Inoue exits her bathroom, after flushing the toilet unsuccessfully. A mysterious note lies at her feet._

Orihime: *Reading from note*

_I have darkish skin  
I have darkish hair  
I'm a giraffe._

Ichigo: 'Sup, Inoue!

Orihime: Kurosaki-kun, HAIIIIII. *bats eyelashes*

Ichigo: Off your period, I see?

Orihime: Moo?

Ichigo: O_o

Orihime: Look at this note!

Ichigo: What note?

Orihime: Oops, I lost it in my breasties.

Ichigo: :P *reads note*

Orihime: Who is it?

Ichigo: Chad-o?

Orihime: Nonsense, Sado-kun is white.

Ichigo: ?

Orihime: I love you.

Ichigo: What?

Orihime: Nothing.

Ichigo: School time!

* * *

_On the way to school, Ichigo and Orihime are attacked by a Hollow!_

Orihime: Kurosaki-kun! Save me 'cuz I'm useless!

Ichog: BANKAI

Orihime: SANTEN KESSHUN, BOOBIE BLAST!

Hollow: XD

Ichigo: *distracted by Orihime's womanhood*

Hollow: *kills Ichigo*

Orihime: O_o Oh ones, I'm alone and frightened!

Hollow: CERO

Orihime: FUCKINSHIT THAT HURTS

Chad: Inoue! I'LL SAVE YOU! LA MUERTE

Hollow: X_X (dead)

Chad: Are you okay, Inoue?

Orihime: You saved me! I never knew you had such beautiful darkish hair and smooth darkish skin!

Chad: lolwut

Orihime: You remind me of a giraffe...

Ichigo: O_o (magically revived because he's the anime's main character)

Orihime: *glaring at Ichigo* What do YOU want?

Ichigo: Inoue, I think Chad is your-

Orihime: SHADDUP, BUTT-HAIR. You're just jealous I have better breasts than you!

Ichigo: O_o; I don't have-

Orihime: YES YOU DO. You have saggy man boobs. MAN. BOOBS.

Chad: ...moobs?

Orihime: YES! MOOBS.

Ichigo: Stop mooing...

Orihime: I SAID MOOBS

* * *

_Later at school..._

Keigo: EEEEEEEEE-CHIIIII-GO!

Ichigo: Get off me, man, I feel oddly attracted to you.

Keigo: =D

Mizuirio: He's right, Keigo, he's oddly—WHAT?

Tatsuki: I KNEW IT!

Chizuru: I'M THE ONLY HOMOSEXUAL IN HERE

(Yadoumaru Lisa: SHUT UP BITCH)

Orihime: PAY ATTENTION TO ME

Ichigo: O_o whodat.

Orihime: touch me.

Chad: KAY.

Orihime: So YOU are my secret admirer!

Chad: ...

Orihime: *takes out note and shows him*

Chad: wuzn't me...

Classroom: O_o?

Tousen Kaname: =D

_THE END_


	3. In Which Orihime Goes to Harry Potter 7

**BLEACH**

**~THE ADVENTURES OF ORIHIME~**

_"In Which Orihime Goes to the Midnight Premiere of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1"

* * *

_

_Orihime and company arrive at the midnight premiere of Harry Potter 7, eager to watch the finale of their favorite movie franchise..._

Ichigo: QUICK we only have 5 minutes until it starts

Orihime: COMING KUROSAKI-KUN :3

Ichigo: Does you have the tickets?

Orihime: Ahmahgah.

Ichigo: wut

Orihime: Oh Ichi-ni help me, my breasties are too heavy to hold up myself!

Ichigo: I'm not your brother o_o

Orihime: XD

Ichigo: the crowd is huge!

Orihime: Don't worry Kurosaki-kun, I'll take care of this! You go get the buttered popcorn, fattening candy, and assorted beverages!

Ichigo: *gallops away*

Orihime: REDUCTO

Crowd: *swoosh*

_In the theatre..._

Orihime: AVADA KEDAVRA!

Ichigo: *dies*

Aizen: =DDD

Everyone else: OH SHIT

Resurrection Stone: *brings Ichigo back*

Ichigo/Justin Timberlake: im bringin' sexy back...

Orihime: :3 sozzy Kurosaki-kun

Ichigo: It's okay my love

Orihime: wut

Ichigo: MOVIE'S STARTING

Dobby: *dies*

Orihime: NO! FUCKINSHIT NO!

Ichigo: It's okay Inoue, I'll be your Dobby. If ya no wut i mean...

Orihime: But no one can moo like Dobby can...

Ichigo: Fine, u conceited bitch.

Orihime: ^^ huck huck

Ichigo: Wtfbbq?

Orihime: ohnovoldemorthasthewand

Ichigo: Ha! The Elder Wand is no match for my GETSUGA TENSHOU

Orihime: I thought you lost your shinigami powers.

Ichigo: *mumbling* stupid whore

Orihime: hahaha you're a Muggle.

Ichigo: Oh, let's get out of here you stupid bitch. =P She's a stupid bitch...

*sassy gay friend theme song*


	4. In Which Orihime Studies for Final Exams

**BLEACH**

**~THE ADVENTURES OF ORIHIME~**

Episode 1: "_In Which Orihime, Ichigo, and Ishida Study for Final Exams_"

* * *

_It's May, and the school year is winding down. Orihime and Ichigo study in the library, determined to ace their finals._

Orihime: =D Let's play "FIND-THE-DIRTY-WORD-IN-THE-NORMAL-WORD" Game!

Ichigo: The fuck?

Orihime: Your first word is...cirCUMference.

Ichigo: -_-

Orihime: No? Let's try another: ceCUM.

Ichigo: Inoue, we should studeh.

Orihime: STFU AND PLAY THE GAME.

Ichigo: …

Orihime: Fine, betch.

Ishida: Is it 'cum'?

Orihime: =O My gentle lady ears.

Ichigo: You're sick, Ishida. Sick.

Orihime: Uh-HUH.

Ishida: sodidjahearboutosamabinladen?

Orihime: OH YEAH LIKE HE TOTALLY DIED

Ichigo: WAIT.

Orihime: =3

Ishida: =3

Ichigo: Nevermind, tee hee.

Orihime: Pen island.

Ichigo: What?

Ishida: Penis.

Orihime: Oh, you're good.

Ichigo: So. Algebra. 1 + 1 = ?

Orihime: 1 on a bun.

Ishida: Bun. Your buns.

Whorehime: ;)

Ichigo: INOUE IS MINE!

Ishida: YOU DON'T EVEN NOTICE HER!

Chizuru: GRRRR

Ichigo: WHAT U TALKIN BOUT? I SAVE HER EVERY FUCKING EPISODE

Ishida: SHE KISSED U WHILE U WERE ASLEEP

Ichigo: *GASP, turns to Orihime* You...bitch.

Orihime: Yeh. Wut u gonna do about it, sunshit?

Ichigo: GETSUGA TENSHOU!

Ishida: *jumps in front of blast, saving Orhime, and dies*

Orihime: oh nooo...

Ichigo: oh nooo...

Orihime: Cleavage.

Ichigo: Yes, please.


End file.
